My Trip to Washington DC for Barack Obama’s inauguration
In June 2008 I booked a trip for my Mom and I to celebrate inauguration week in Washington DC. Many months later after a hard fought campaign battle and a Democrat victory my Mom and I were off to our nation’s capital to watch Barack Obama take the reins of a damaged country from its previous leader.
Save a few minor details our adventure more or less begins at San Francisco International Airport where security was smooth and our flight left on time. Five hours later we were touching down at Dulles International and on our way to the hotel in a cab. We had a pretty chatty cab driver which had asked my mom and me a lot of questions about our political opinions and what not. I don’t remember all of what he asked but he did ask me if I would be able to forgive Bush. I told him that there are a lot of things I could forgive or forget, but as there were 4,200 dead soldiers, another 30,000 wounded soldiers, I could not forgive that, and that I hope to see Bush prosecuted. Our driver said I was the first person to mention all the fallen soldiers in my response.
After our cab ride discussion we arrived at our hotel after about half an hour on the road. Checked in and relaxed a little bit and I called my friend Bianka who lives in DC. I met up with her and a bunch of her friends and somehow during dinner Vladimir Putin came up (I mean, really, how does Vladimir Putin not come up during casual conversation, right?) and Bianka mentioned that I had an uncanny resemblance to the man- which is true. I’m not really sure how but pretty soon we all had Russian cover names and a plan to pay a visit to the “Russia Bar”. I was, of course, Vladimir and I had taken up my drunken Russian accent at this point, also.
We all arrived at the Russia Bar and Bianka and some of her friends ordered one of the nastiest drinks I’ve ever tasted- ever. It was some ghastly garlic flavored vodka martini or something but really I would just call it a shit-tini in the future because it was awful. Blech. I stuck to my tried and true friend- vodka tonic. By 1AM we all decided to call it a night and ventured off to our respective cabs. I kid you not, people, it took an hour to get to my hotel which was only a few miles away. The cab ride was so long I had to make my driver pull over so I could run out, take a leak, and hop back in (I am not kidding- unless you are Washington DC Police then I am totally fucking with you). But no seriously I had to pee soooooo bad. Finally got home at about 2AM and hopped into bed.
*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*. That’s my alarm going off two hours later at 4AM. I’m still essentially buzzed but that’s OK because I think to partake in this pursuit one needs to be insane or buzzed. Mom and I strapped on our winter gear and headed out the door at 4:45AM and hit the streets. My first thought when we got outside was “HOLY FUCKING JESUS SHIT BALLS CHRIST IT’S FREEZING”. My second thought was “Sweet merciful Christ there are a lot of people out already”. Seriously, it was like a bar had just closed and everyone was herded outside. Mom and I walked down a few blocks, made a few turns, walked down a few more blocks and we were at the onset of the Capital Mall.
We got in a line- for what we had no idea- that was at least moving. Eventually it ground to a halt and we learned we were at the 7th street entrance. We stood there for a while- maybe 45 minutes- and then a few cops came by and kindly told a few people close to the fence that this gate was never going to open. What the fuck? Rumors started to circle quickly about whether this gate would open or not so after a little deliberation my Mom leaned over to me and said “Fuck this bullshit, son, we’re moving the fuck out”. No, she didn’t really say that- do you even know my mom??? But seriously that was the gist of it. So we hopped out (and by hopped out I mean squeezed out for ten minutes) and started walking- quickly- down the street towards the entrance that was farther down.
Eventually we got to the twelve street entrance to the mall and there are literally thousands of people pouring in. We shuffled in and walked towards the capital- by this point it was probably 6AM and I think the sun had just started to peak out. We actually jostled for a pretty good position in the middle of the mall close to the third jumbotron but as more and more people came in it got tighter and tighter. It was fairly evident that this wasn’t going to be a fun place to hang out for five hours so I told my Mom to stay here and I was going to scout a better position. I took a careful look at my surroundings so I could triangulate myself back if I had to. I also told my Mom to hold on to her phone because I would call her if I found something better.
I wandered around for a little bit and eventually I found a patch of lawn that was right next to the second jumbotron which was closer than our other spot. And it was at a steep angle so there was room to sit and relax a little bit but the view of the jumbotron was still unobstructed. I tried calling my Mom a few times but it just rang and rang and rang. Not sure what happened there but I- kind of pissed off- had to go back and fetch my Mom and bring her back so I asked the gentleman next to me to hold my spot while I fished my Mother out of the crowd.
Eventually I think she actually called me and I told her to get out, and I’d meet her by Porta-Potty alley and then we’d go- and that’s what we did. We maintained our nice little spot complete with sitting room and easy access to the Porta-Potty’s which I would surely need- many times (I have the bladder of a six year old). It’s probably also worth mentioning that the reports I have read (after the fact) said that with wind chill it was 17 degrees on Inauguration day. As a result, my toes basically decided to skip inauguration until later on in the day when I got back to the hotel. Their loss.
Some of you may be wondering what we did for five hours waiting for the festivities to begin. You know, that’s a good question because it went surprisingly fast. Mostly I kept ditching my Mom to walk around and explore. I like to explore. After a few hours I actually found the MSNBC booth that had been setup so that was cool. I got there right in time because their show was just about to start so I got to watch the anchors leave their dressing room and enter their booth. I saw Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, Chris Matthews and Eugene Robinson all exit makeup and enter the booth. I stuck around for a little bit outside because they have cameras that shoot the crowd during commercial breaks. I am sure I was probably on TV twice at least so yay for me.
From this point on nothing exciting happened. I went back to hang out with my Mom for the next two hours or so. Thankfully I packed like eight Special K Breakfast bars which kept my stomach relatively happy even though the bars had basically frozen or some shit they were really hard and flaky. About an hour before the real event began they started seating people at the Capital and showed it on the jumbotron. So let me put this in perspective for you. Imagine that you rented a movie. That movie is called “watching people walk down an aisle and sit the fuck down”. Now imagine that you’re feeling lazy and you decide to watch this hour and a half film standing up. But not only are you feeling lazy, you’re feeling crazy, so you crank your air conditioner up to 17 god damn degrees.
That was my hour and a half leading up to the fun stuff. And you know what? I did it with a smile on my face like everyone else because Bush’s reign of terror was ticking down, and Obama’s rainbow of unicorns and glory was approaching. Everyone was finally seated. The Clintons got lots of cheers; Robot Wheelchair Cheney got plenty of boos. But when the announcer proclaimed that Bush was coming out there was an eruption of boos from the sea of two million. Some refrained, some said boo’ing was disrespectful. I decided to partake- passionately- in my final goodbye to President Bush by breaking my throat on the most satisfying BOOOOOO that I could muster. If he was just a lovable failure I would not have booed. But he’s a disaster. Disasters deserve to be booed.
Hold on I have to go wash my face after thinking about Bush. Blech. Ok, I’m back.
Finally, everyone had been seated and my Mom and I and the crowd were ready for the main event. Barack Obama was finally making his way down to the capital and the two million people on the mall collectively shit their pants with happiness, sprained their freezing cold arms by waving their American Flags in the air feverishly, and lost their voice screaming in what was essentially jubilation. The crowd eventually settled down and the official festivities began.
Joe Biden got sworn in. Rick Warren gave a speech (yes, I booed him, too- as did many around me) which I could not really focus on. Forgive me but I can’t seem to be inspired by someone who openly hates gay people. Aretha Franklin sang a song in the coolest fucking hat ever in the history of the world. Some other shit happened that I don’t remember (dude it was 17 degrees, OK). Finally we get to Barack’s swearing in and he struts up- smiling- places his hand on the Lincoln Bible and begins.
And of course leave it to a Bush appointee (Justice Roberts) to fuck something up (the words of the god damn swearing in) literally at the very instance in time that Bush was out and Obama was in. I mean, is that a record, or something? Does the Guinness book of Records keep track of an administration’s final fuckupery and see who can fuck up the most until the very end? I hope that’s what Bush names his memoir “Fuckupery, etc.”
God damnit. I have to go wash my face again after talking about Bush. Ok, back again sorry.
The swearing in continues and even through the Justice Roberts flub Barack keeps his usual cool and smiles and rolls with the punches. At the conclusion the twenty-one cannon salute began and the crowd again went batshit insane and if there had been an earthquake in DC at that moment I doubt anyone would have felt it. It was pandemonium and it was fantastic. Obama segued into his Inauguration Speech and everyone was basically glued to the jumbotron with the occasional burst of applause and/or flag waving.
Obama wrapped up his speech- which I thought was awesome- and it was kind of crazy but everyone literally started to flee. My mom and I stayed for the poem and the benediction- which was actually quite good. After it was all finished we started the ridiculous trek back to the hotel and it was a zoo. Crowds were basically dispersed without any logistical help from anyone.
We did eventually arrive back at the hotel. Inauguration was over but our trip had a few more days. For the remaining days we visited the Newseum (a museum all about News and Journalism), the American History Museum, The International Spy Museum, did the Capital Tour, and watched small bits of the Senate and House in session. These events were fun but obviously not the main attraction (as previously described) so for the sake of relative brevity I will wrap this puppy up now.
Oh, and of course, Good luck, President Obama!
** PICTURES HERE **
** VIDEOS HERE **
Keith Olbermann entering the MSNBC booth
Rachel Maddow entering the MSNBC booth
